flowerofmtsilver | IC contact; phone

good????

he had a lot on his mind already... going to make sure he knows today.

shud i b there

...i think i shud b there

... i'd like that.

probably going to be way easier than when I told him I liked you.

Edited 2013-12-09 23:11 (UTC)

... probably

[THIS FILLS HIM WITH GREAT HOPE]

uhhh

well u wont b alone

ok

I know. thank you.

it'll be ok. he likes you more than he says he does.

ill take ur word on it?

it's a good one!

ha

now a ok time 4 me 2 come over?

now should be ok, yeah

[AND THEN VINNIE CAME OVER AND THEY NERVOUSLY HAD TEA.]

Edited 2013-12-11 03:05 (UTC)

COMMENT PENDING DON'T REPLY TO THIS ONE

After that was all said and done, they had discreetly slipped back to Bulba's room for a bit more time on their own. Bulba felt a bit more at ease now that it had been affirmed that yes Green knew, and yes they had as much blessing as Green was willing to give. Even if Bulba had prepped Green for the idea already, it had still been pretty nervewracking when it came down to it.

But whatever his feelings were, he realized they paled in comparison to what the other Venusaur was feeling. The words "that's not fair" stuck with him, because it wasn't. This was something he needed to check up on.

"That went well," he started softly once it was just the two of them, because it actually did go relatively well all things considered. "Are you holding up ok?"

Vinnie closed the door behind them and situated himself to lean his back against the adjacent wall. The meeting hadn't gone poorly at all, but he could still feel his heart beating a touch faster than normal. The anxiousness was taking its sweet time wearing off. Bad enough that he psyched himself too hard for it in the first place and made things so much more tense than they needed to be - he just couldn't relax, not completely.

Scratching his face, the older Venusaur peered over at Bulba with an expression that was uncomfortable, but making an obvious effort to minimize how he felt. He responded with a, "Yeah," with the unspoken undertone of, why wouldn't I be?

Edited 2013-12-11 04:17 (UTC)

Despite how good his efforts were, which were pretty good, it was still kind of obvious that Vinnie was not quite as good as he was trying to imply. Bulba came up in front of him, loosely looping his arms around the other saur's waist. The gold of his eyes were trained somewhere around Vinnie's collar as he bit his bottom lip in a slightly guilty fashion.

"...It feels like I'm rushing you," Bulba admitted. "Which I don't want to do. I know... I know how hard this can be."

Vinnie's eyes, meanwhile, drifted off to stare at nothing in particular. A patch of floor off the the side, perhaps. Not entirely sure what to do with his hands, he rested them lightly on the other Venusaur's shoulders.

"I don't wanna let it sit though." The longer this felt like a secret affair, the more guilty he felt about it all. "Besides," he added, "I already made you wait for me."

"I'm okay with waiting," he replied. "I mean, I want to be honest as soon as we can too but... I don't want to be selfish and unfair to you. It's nerve-wracking, isn't it?"

Vinnie didn't respond immediately, his silence more or less confirming the fact. Yeah, it was kind of terrifying. But it was terrifying to not say anything, either. Keeping quiet only made the bold natured Saur feel like his secrets were fighting to burst through his chest.

As hard as it was, he tried to smile, even if it carried the uncertainty and fear of all these worst case scenarios in his head.

"It's just ripping off the band-aid," he said, forcing himself to be positive about all this. "Honestly, wondering what people'll say's way worse than knowing for sure."

"Oh, yeah, that's spot on," Bulba said with a small laugh. "It's usually never that bad but you get yourself all revved up about it anyway, because there's no way to really know." Now he was speaking with plenty of experience. Every time coming out had been a thing, his thoughts had been rampant and his fears cold in his chest. Some of them had been unwarranted, he was able to reflect later, but some not so much.

"It only gets easier but... it's really hard to shake the memory of things gone wrong, even when everything else is going right."

Bulba shifted a bit closer to rub his forehead against Vinnie's, sighing softly.

"... I'm really glad I had someone with me this time."

He nodded mutely, but despite the reassurance, that smile still fell from his face, unable to be sustained. There was still too much uneasiness inside him - about the days to come, about the people he cared about, and about himself most of all.

"Bulba..." He pulled his forehead away just enough so that he could look the other Saur in the eye as he asked, with some hesitation, "When people found out, did they...

"Did they start treating you different?"

Bulba raised his eyes to meet Vinnie's, understanding. "For the most part, no. I was surprised, actually, but a lot of people just didn't really care. I think the person who gave me the hardest time about it was myself, really." He glanced down, grinning a bit sardonically at himself.

If things hadn't been the way they were now, it would have been a lot harder to talk about. If there hadn't been living, thriving (well okay it was sleeping now but) garden in the forest to prove that everything had gotten better since then, thinking about the memories would have stung much deeper. "I mean, it doesn't always work out. Char kicked me out when I told him. Couldn't stand the sight of me and left without telling anyone. It was the worst. I thought I had messed everything up but..."

Bulba shut his eyes tight, recalling the fights and bitter exchanges and everything that had happened in between. With a sigh he raised them again, studying Vinnie's intently. "... he just needed time. You're not any different than you were before." He raised a hand, gently brushing some of the green from the older saur's face with his fingers.

"You're still Vinnie. Even if someone hates the idea, if they really care about you they'll come around. It just takes some patience sometimes."

Ah yes. Patience, his old enemy. Why did it have to be so, so hard.

Vinnie had never thought of being gay as anything that abnormal. Growing up in a Garden with so many gay brothers seemed completely normal to him. It really hadn't been until now, when he really had to face the implication of having that perception of himself change, that he began to feel this uneasy twist in his gut.

True, there weren't a lot of people who put down Bulba for liking guys - not many he could remember off the top of his head, anyway. But that wasn't the only change in perception he was worried about.

"I don't even know what most've my team even thinks of me anymore. It's not like that can get much more nail in the coffin. And I can't even count how long I've known your team. After so long, I..."

His gaze fell away from Bulba's. "I don't want t'train with Jolt an' have him just see me as The Boyfriend. I don't want Char t'not see me as a rival either. I mean, I've only just started to understand him, but..."

He sighed. "They care about you. I just don't really belong."

He didn't have any idea how to approach the topic of Red team. Bulba hardly understood any of them anymore, save Sonny. It was more effective to just address what he (thought he) knew.

"It's just something new."

Bulba reached up with both hands now, gliding skin against skin as he cupped Vinnie's face to lift his gaze back up towards his. "You already have relationships with them, and they are what they are," he said, mimicking what Green had said earlier in a firm tone. "If I don't have to dump yours and Jolt's butts into a wheelbarrow next week I'll probably have to buy a new hat cause I'll be eating one of mine. And I honestly don't think I could stop you and Char from throwing punches at each other even if I tried."

"... I can't say things won't change," he admitted, frowning just a little. "Your guess is probably as good as mine about how but... You're definitely going to be more than just a boyfriend. You're Vinnie first."

And then he grinned at him, broad and toothy. "No one's going to let you off easy just because I like you, don't worry about that."

Vinnie grinned in return, warmed by the sight of Bulba's beaming smile, and nuzzled his hands back. It was true - he was still himself, foremost. They'd all already changed so much since arriving at the school, in ways he had no way of predicting, but Change was simply a matter of fact then. Just because they were due for more didn't mean he had to dread it. Even if things did turn sour... well. He had to keep moving forward regardless.

He breathed out slowly. Some things the Venusaur simply had no control over, so he had to learn to accept it. He had to learn to accept this, too.

"In my defense," he said, weakly but in good humour, "I make sure Jolt eats lunch sometimes."

Bulba relaxed at the sight of Vinnie's smile, though it didn't last for too long. As good naturedly as Vinnie had intended it, mother henning was still the shiny saur's lifeblood.

"... He hasn't been doing that thing where he skips it again has he..."

The thing Bulba was evidently already acquainted with.

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[SOON AFTER THAT]

[AND THEN AT A TIME]

Re: [AND THEN AT A TIME]

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