flowerofmtsilver | IC contact; phone

After that was all said and done, they had discreetly slipped back to Bulba's room for a bit more time on their own. Bulba felt a bit more at ease now that it had been affirmed that yes Green knew, and yes they had as much blessing as Green was willing to give. Even if Bulba had prepped Green for the idea already, it had still been pretty nervewracking when it came down to it.

But whatever his feelings were, he realized they paled in comparison to what the other Venusaur was feeling. The words "that's not fair" stuck with him, because it wasn't. This was something he needed to check up on.

"That went well," he started softly once it was just the two of them, because it actually did go relatively well all things considered. "Are you holding up ok?"

Vinnie closed the door behind them and situated himself to lean his back against the adjacent wall. The meeting hadn't gone poorly at all, but he could still feel his heart beating a touch faster than normal. The anxiousness was taking its sweet time wearing off. Bad enough that he psyched himself too hard for it in the first place and made things so much more tense than they needed to be - he just couldn't relax, not completely.

Scratching his face, the older Venusaur peered over at Bulba with an expression that was uncomfortable, but making an obvious effort to minimize how he felt. He responded with a, "Yeah," with the unspoken undertone of, why wouldn't I be?

Edited 2013-12-11 04:17 (UTC)

Despite how good his efforts were, which were pretty good, it was still kind of obvious that Vinnie was not quite as good as he was trying to imply. Bulba came up in front of him, loosely looping his arms around the other saur's waist. The gold of his eyes were trained somewhere around Vinnie's collar as he bit his bottom lip in a slightly guilty fashion.

"...It feels like I'm rushing you," Bulba admitted. "Which I don't want to do. I know... I know how hard this can be."

Vinnie's eyes, meanwhile, drifted off to stare at nothing in particular. A patch of floor off the the side, perhaps. Not entirely sure what to do with his hands, he rested them lightly on the other Venusaur's shoulders.

"I don't wanna let it sit though." The longer this felt like a secret affair, the more guilty he felt about it all. "Besides," he added, "I already made you wait for me."

"I'm okay with waiting," he replied. "I mean, I want to be honest as soon as we can too but... I don't want to be selfish and unfair to you. It's nerve-wracking, isn't it?"

Vinnie didn't respond immediately, his silence more or less confirming the fact. Yeah, it was kind of terrifying. But it was terrifying to not say anything, either. Keeping quiet only made the bold natured Saur feel like his secrets were fighting to burst through his chest.

As hard as it was, he tried to smile, even if it carried the uncertainty and fear of all these worst case scenarios in his head.

"It's just ripping off the band-aid," he said, forcing himself to be positive about all this. "Honestly, wondering what people'll say's way worse than knowing for sure."

"Oh, yeah, that's spot on," Bulba said with a small laugh. "It's usually never that bad but you get yourself all revved up about it anyway, because there's no way to really know." Now he was speaking with plenty of experience. Every time coming out had been a thing, his thoughts had been rampant and his fears cold in his chest. Some of them had been unwarranted, he was able to reflect later, but some not so much.

"It only gets easier but... it's really hard to shake the memory of things gone wrong, even when everything else is going right."

Bulba shifted a bit closer to rub his forehead against Vinnie's, sighing softly.

"... I'm really glad I had someone with me this time."

He nodded mutely, but despite the reassurance, that smile still fell from his face, unable to be sustained. There was still too much uneasiness inside him - about the days to come, about the people he cared about, and about himself most of all.

"Bulba..." He pulled his forehead away just enough so that he could look the other Saur in the eye as he asked, with some hesitation, "When people found out, did they...

"Did they start treating you different?"

Bulba raised his eyes to meet Vinnie's, understanding. "For the most part, no. I was surprised, actually, but a lot of people just didn't really care. I think the person who gave me the hardest time about it was myself, really." He glanced down, grinning a bit sardonically at himself.

If things hadn't been the way they were now, it would have been a lot harder to talk about. If there hadn't been living, thriving (well okay it was sleeping now but) garden in the forest to prove that everything had gotten better since then, thinking about the memories would have stung much deeper. "I mean, it doesn't always work out. Char kicked me out when I told him. Couldn't stand the sight of me and left without telling anyone. It was the worst. I thought I had messed everything up but..."

Bulba shut his eyes tight, recalling the fights and bitter exchanges and everything that had happened in between. With a sigh he raised them again, studying Vinnie's intently. "... he just needed time. You're not any different than you were before." He raised a hand, gently brushing some of the green from the older saur's face with his fingers.

"You're still Vinnie. Even if someone hates the idea, if they really care about you they'll come around. It just takes some patience sometimes."

Ah yes. Patience, his old enemy. Why did it have to be so, so hard.

Vinnie had never thought of being gay as anything that abnormal. Growing up in a Garden with so many gay brothers seemed completely normal to him. It really hadn't been until now, when he really had to face the implication of having that perception of himself change, that he began to feel this uneasy twist in his gut.

True, there weren't a lot of people who put down Bulba for liking guys - not many he could remember off the top of his head, anyway. But that wasn't the only change in perception he was worried about.

"I don't even know what most've my team even thinks of me anymore. It's not like that can get much more nail in the coffin. And I can't even count how long I've known your team. After so long, I..."

His gaze fell away from Bulba's. "I don't want t'train with Jolt an' have him just see me as The Boyfriend. I don't want Char t'not see me as a rival either. I mean, I've only just started to understand him, but..."

He sighed. "They care about you. I just don't really belong."

He didn't have any idea how to approach the topic of Red team. Bulba hardly understood any of them anymore, save Sonny. It was more effective to just address what he (thought he) knew.

"It's just something new."

Bulba reached up with both hands now, gliding skin against skin as he cupped Vinnie's face to lift his gaze back up towards his. "You already have relationships with them, and they are what they are," he said, mimicking what Green had said earlier in a firm tone. "If I don't have to dump yours and Jolt's butts into a wheelbarrow next week I'll probably have to buy a new hat cause I'll be eating one of mine. And I honestly don't think I could stop you and Char from throwing punches at each other even if I tried."

"... I can't say things won't change," he admitted, frowning just a little. "Your guess is probably as good as mine about how but... You're definitely going to be more than just a boyfriend. You're Vinnie first."

And then he grinned at him, broad and toothy. "No one's going to let you off easy just because I like you, don't worry about that."

Vinnie grinned in return, warmed by the sight of Bulba's beaming smile, and nuzzled his hands back. It was true - he was still himself, foremost. They'd all already changed so much since arriving at the school, in ways he had no way of predicting, but Change was simply a matter of fact then. Just because they were due for more didn't mean he had to dread it. Even if things did turn sour... well. He had to keep moving forward regardless.

He breathed out slowly. Some things the Venusaur simply had no control over, so he had to learn to accept it. He had to learn to accept this, too.

"In my defense," he said, weakly but in good humour, "I make sure Jolt eats lunch sometimes."

Bulba relaxed at the sight of Vinnie's smile, though it didn't last for too long. As good naturedly as Vinnie had intended it, mother henning was still the shiny saur's lifeblood.

"... He hasn't been doing that thing where he skips it again has he..."

The thing Bulba was evidently already acquainted with.

"Uh." Oh boy was he getting Jolt in trouble oh no.

Honesty was the best policy though, Vinnie. The Venusaur confessed, "He was after the robots shit, but he's gotten better 'bout it. I talked t'him a bit.

"Don't grill him too hard about it, he... he just felt guilty 'bout hurting you."

"Oh."

It was said quietly, because there wasn't much to be said about that. Bulba gave a small nod. "Yeah... we talked about it too." And skull bashed. That counted. "There's no reason to get on him about it if he's gotten better." He tilt his head, his smile coming back small and appreciative.

"Thanks for looking out for him."

"Well... we're friends." He was pretty sure they were friends, despite the rivalry. Training until you passed out and accidentally turning him into a girl and taking him to buffets - friends did that, even if Green's team was pretty much the worst at admitting when they grew closer to people. So it was the least he could do.

It almost felt like something to be proud of, simply being able to understand and trust another person. To help them, even a little. Vinnie relished it. He didn't want that to change.

It was... harder to pin down what exactly he had with Char though. Way harder, recently. He almost wanted to bring it up, but refrained. It felt a bit like cheating, somehow.

Edited 2013-12-11 09:38 (UTC)

His smile widened again. It had been something he was worried about, whether or not the team would get along with Vinnie. He knew they already did for the most part, in their own little ways, but this was kind of different, wasn't it? Then again, the more he thought on it now, the more he realized that maybe they were kind of silly worries. He was probably just overthinking. That whole fear of the unknown was just a hard tune to get out of his head.

He was pretty confident that his sparky brother wasn't going to kick up a fuss. "Then he'll get a kick out of having more reasons to bug you, heh."

Bulba gave Vinnie's cheeks a pat, pursing his lips slightly at him. "I'm not going to let you off an easier than they would though. I won't be gentle about dumping you in the barrow if I catch you passed out in the stadium again, got it?"

Vinnie's shoulders slumped, and he pouted. Except it totally wasn't a pout because pouts weren't manly.

He muttered, "Yes sir," and was decidedly not adorable.

No.

No how dare he make that face. The face with the not pouting. How dare he.

There was only one thing to do with such a face and that was smooch it in punishment for its actions. The nerve.

And so a tiny smooch was bestowed upon his pouty not pout. "Good."

Well, the smooch made the pout go away, but it also made Vinnie flush bright red. Having a casual kissing partner was still a bit unbelievable to Vinnie - internally he was just laughing at how surreal all this was. It was almost like he was having an out of body experience each time, and going Is this actually happening?

It was. It was scary and it was nice. He almost wanted to kiss him back properly but... maybe he shouldn't? Maybe it was too much.

Pursing his lips into an awkward smile instead, he asked, "Can we maybe tell them a bit later though? I think I'm all out of coming out right now."

To be fair, even if he was the one doing the smooching, Bulba had been having similar thoughts. There had been several of these casual moments where he wanted to ask and verify that Yes this was a Thing that was Happening. No, he wasn't actually dreaming. It hadn't been that long ago that he had been rooted in the idea that this was an impossibility.

Yet there they were, comfortably leaning against his bedroom wall with their hands on each other and turning bright red.

Which was even worse than the other face.

Bulba refrained from a second smooch at the moment, though it looked like he was highly considering it, since he didn't want to scare Vinnie off. Baby steps into the land of gay and all that.

He chuckled. "That's probably a good idea. Taking it one step at a time is good." But that didn't mean he was wholly satisfied. "... Do you want to stay a little while though? Since you're here."

"Ummm." A few things ran through Vinnie's head at that moment. The first was that nervous feeling again, the one that surfaced when faced with something he wanted on instinct to do, but second guessed. The next was the fact that Green was in the very next room this very instant. He still felt like he was a bit on tetherhooks with the family right now, even if he hadn't been disapproved of.

It'd be pushing it. Maybe not for Bulba, but for his own ideas of what he was allowed to do at this point. Baby steps.

Also, he still had final exams.

"I... should probably get the rest've my studyin' done for exams," he sighed, uncertainty obvious in his voice.

Baby steps.

Studying was probably a wiser idea. Bulba could only encourage good study habits, especially when it was actually important. It should have been easy to encourage him to go do what he needed to do, but there was still a moment where he hesitated. It was hard to say how much they would really let themselves see each other before they told other key parties. Right now things were still calm, but they were still so new as well. It was unclear how selfish he'd be if he took advantage of the uncertainty in Vinnie's voice to insist he stay for at least a little while.

Even if he was still smiling enough, it was hard to keep his ears from drooping in disappointment.

"... Maybe yeah," the blonde said with a small nod, leaving the option still somewhat open.

Vinnie could see that droop. The fact that the younger Saur kept smiling despite the obvious disappointment conveyed by his ears only made him feel disappointed in himself as well. Bulba was just being overly considerate, as usual.

He was already screwing this up, wasn't he. Yeah, he was. He had to fix this somehow.

Turning an even deeper shade of red, Vinnie mumbled, "Sorry," before clasping his face in one hand and plunging down into a deep, apologetic kiss.

Whatever look of bewilderment Bulba might have worn in face of the other Venusaur's apologies was very quickly overshadowed. No one could say Vinnie wasn't good at surprises at least. His heart had leapt a little at the suddenly much more intimate shift. Bulba's eyes fluttered shut and he let himself lean into the kiss, savoring the way it felt and the sweetness that came with it. This was nice.

When their lips finally parted he lingered close, breathing out a soft laugh against his cheek.

"You don't always have to apologize to do that."

IC contact; phone

[AND THEN AT A TIME]

Re: [AND THEN AT A TIME]

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I still don't have a kissing icon???

get on that???

goodness but I need more art

gosh!!

get on that

the tables have turned

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